I forgot to share this. This photo symbolically concludes my trip back to my soul home. Dirt on my hands never fails to give me a clearer and more solid sense of my life purpose: service to my family. I’m far from done but this is it for now.
No visit is ever complete without getting my hands dirty on work that’s begging to be finished at the old house, for it is never ending. I remember enjoying this task immensely when I was young (even up to this day) being in charge of storing, general cleaning and inventory. I know where everything is kept, how locks open, how things work, perhaps a little secret backstory here and there. This time as I have done in different phases spread over my recent visits following mom and dad’s demise, I have only been committed to purging, organizing and archiving the memories, archiving them well. I feel that we have come a long way, we are almost at the end phase, where my sisters and I find ourselves all set and ready to move forward, not grieving any less of course, but holding on to physical things less. Many have asked, did you ever fight while dividing stuff? If you meant property, money or jewelry, the answer is no, never. They raised us well, that makes me very proud. We are kind, peaceful and fair without thinking twice, never selfish, though I must admit, a tad too sentimental. So if you meant to ask if we fought over an old piece of wornout clothing, a used pen, a frayed notebook, a faded photograph, then we may have tugged a little. I digress. Visiting Philippines since I migrated to America always meant days upon days devoted to tying loose ends in the life I left behind (it’s like having the luxury of many do overs years after your old self dies, oh ain’t that neat?) as well as delivering my old self back to assume the same responsibilities I’ve always had for the people I love as though I have never left. I find that always ever so joyful, effortless and satisfying in my heart anyway, albeit time consuming. So I deeply apologize to some friends and family that I end up not being able to see on my visits, I had serious work to do again this time and the trip was short. My sister and I spent a lot of time with estate errands, planning and paperwork in between bonding with the family (the only photos you’ll ever see). Together, we also tried to pack away her old life the way “Ate” (big sister, me) has done before because she and her family scored a once in a lifetime opportunity to move to a better place where the government system and governance are sweeter, a whole lot kinder and fairer and obviously smarter and more promising for the future of their children, my beautiful nephews! (not America, I just had to say that, lmao)… God is so good!
This Ate wishes she could have spent more time to assist more and accomplish tasks more in our long family to do list but it also felt so good in my heart to have spent the other days with loved ones, especially those who, sadly, have been sick and are simply getting older. I love you all so dearly. If only I could leave my heart there (if I haven’t already) to watch over you and serve you all, I would.
With God’s blessing and grace, there will be another time to see other friends (as they are not any less important!) and travel to other far away places in the future.
I shall return.
